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Not Suffering Enough
Often in my personal and professional life I hear the phrases “Other people have it worse”, “It’s not that bad”, “I’m just having a moment”, “I don’t really have any problems” and “Nothing bad has really happened to me”. After further discussion, we determine while those phrases may be true there is a struggle going on inside needing to be validated and worked through. We tend to minimize the struggles we have in our... Read More
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It is actually 12 out of every 1,000 people that suffer from the severe, often misunderstood anxiety disorder known as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This disorder, like so many others, does not discriminate.  Your age, race, or gender does not matter.  There are two aspects to OCD - obsessions and compulsions.  Obsessions are thoughts, ideas and urges which feel impossible to ignore by sufferers - and they can be very persistent.  Obsessions can cause a h... Read More
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Do Not Apologize
While there are indeed worse offenses than declaring an unnecessary apology, what makes the behavior potentially damaging is the cause and effect.  We often state an unnecessary apology out of caring too much what other people think or putting their feelings above our own.  Consequently, others may view constant apologizing as a sense of weakness or lack of confidence.  So, by all means, apologize when it's necessary - but stop saying sorry when you have no reason to.  ... Read More
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Stress affects people in all different ways – or at least, different people respond to it very differently. For some, it rolls off quickly, and they rebound in a reasonable amount of time. For others, it “sticks” and it takes much longer to recover, if ever. This is because people’s mental “resilience” varies enormously, which itself is based on both genes and environment. For people who aren’t so good at coping with stress, it may be that ... Read More
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Stop hostility, intimidation, abuse and bullying in school, in your personal life and in the workplace. Create bully-free relationships with spouses, partners, children, teens, friends, parents, bosses, co-workers and employees. Stop wishing for your problems to go away.  Instead, take effective action.   Easier said than done? Some of the best ways to stop bulling : Increase your independence, confidence and self-esteem. Develop the strength, courage, will and deter... Read More
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The Anxious Child
Parents tend to say things in an earnest and loving effort to help when a child is anxious. If you have an anxious child, it is not always easy to understand. A child doesn't know exactly how to express the way they feel.   Here are a few phrases that can help when the anxiety is high as an alternative to what a typical response might be:  Mommy said, "It's going to be ok. Trust me." Try this: Respond to your child's nervous system first. Help them calm down ... Read More
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What do we mean by anxiety in children, and should parents be concerned about it? Many parents are unsure about when their child’s behavior is something for them to worry about, or whether it is fairly typical behaviour for children of that age. Many parents are not sure whether to be concerned when a usually talkative 8 year old becomes withdrawn and pre-occupied, when an 11 year old feels sick every school morning or when an adolescent suddenly begins to refuse to leave ... Read More
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In a nutshell, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps you learn to change your thoughts, feelings and behaviors so you feel better. By targeting your reactions to situations, CBT can help you react more effectively in challenging situations, and even learn to feel better when you are unable to change situations happening around you. GOAL-ORIENTED Unlike a lot of talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy is a problem-solving therapy aimed at helping you achieve your goals. The goals can be... Read More
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One of the most valuable lessons in life I have found is learning the art of active listening. All too often, when people think of being a good communicator, they think of having good verbal skills.  However, much of healthy communication is knowing how to listen … and not just hear!   The first step to being an effective listener is to realize that hearing is not the same thing as listening! Watch out for being so focused on what you ... Read More
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There are many ways to set boundaries. There are the boundaries that people can set with themselves, such as how they cut out bad habits or enforce healthier habits. But setting boundaries isn’t always as cut and dry as people may think. Many boundary-setting scenarios involve setting boundaries relative to other people. In these instances, if you aren’t careful, you may not end up merely setting boundaries for self-care, as much as inadvertently building walls between you... Read More
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